A Morning of Silence

I am sitting at our church answering the phone for our secretary, who is out on vacation. The phone has only rung twice, and one of those phone calls was from my husband calling to check on me. I can tell it's going to be a slow morning since I have already been here an hour and a half and only 2 phone calls. The church building is quiet, which gives me time to catch up on some much needed reading and praying. I am really enjoying my quiet time. I do miss my little family, but at the same time it is nice to have some time to myself. Who doesn't need just a little time to themselves?

How likely is it that the number of bad days a person has is directly related to the missed days of quiet time and time alone with God? I’ve been horrible about my quiet time lately, but today I have a chance to make up for it. I've had some pretty stressful days as of late so I am pleased to be working today. I do not think that God is “paying me back” or disciplining me (although this may very well be true) but that I continue to fall farther away from His holiness the more time I spend away from Him. Now I have a chance to catch up, almost.

Does God let me fall away to teach me a lesson or show me how dependent I am upon Him? I think these things are certainly true but I also believe that my sinful nature does not want to be close to God. It is more comfortable to do things of the flesh — especially since that is what I have known for so many years. I am comforted by the fact that I recognize this and dislike the distance between God and I. I want to be close to Him — which fights against my sinful nature. I am so deprived and incapable of good, it is reassuring to know that God loves me no matter what. He will always be there for me to pick me up when I fall. Again, He isn’t doing this out of jealousy or mind games — He disciplines me because He is my Father for eternity. He wants me to be the woman that He knows I can be. It is incredibly comforting to know that He is in charge and will instruct me in the right ways in all situations.

Still Growing in Christ,
Tanya